Thursday, January 28, 2010

I'm not Josie Grossie any more!

Last night I watched Never Been Kissed. Not a favorite movie but still a good one that I like to watch every now and then. Apparently I was in thoughtful mood though cause in true Michelle fashion I started to think about the statement "I'm not Josie Grossie any more!".

I was never popular in high school and never really felt like I fit in with any "group" at school. I remember feeling super awkward when talking to the "cute" boy or the "popular" girls, you know all those things that teenagers deal with. I don't ever remember totally hating high school I had things that I enjoyed, and a handful of good friends. What else could I ask for.

That being said I remember having the "I am not Josie Grossie any more!" moment in college. Where I realised what everyone else thought of me and the things I thought about myself, didn't matter any more, no one knew me (including my roommates), no one knew my past, my family whether I was popular or not in high school, Once I realised that none of that mattered any more and that i was no longer Josie Grossie, I loved college, people got to know what I would call the "real" me, the me that no one knew in high school cause we had all gone to school together for so long that you kind of get stuck in a mold of being one kind of person and never really allowed the option to move out of that mold. I found out that I am funny/witty (or at least I think that I am), I am smarter than I thought, I enjoy going out with friends, and not worrying about what people may think, that I am fine living so far from home.

As time has kept moving on I have realised that lately I have been going through another Josie Grossie moment. I feel like I have been stuck in this rut of being a frumpy house wife, seems like i always have a dirty shirt on (can you blame me though), i feel out of place in large gatherings, and find my self with drawing, and not being super social. Well I am here to to tell you "I am not Josie Grossie any more!"

I have started a total "re-purposing" myself year. I joined a total weight loss challenge, I am a big fan of "fly lady" and find that this is helping me get my house and life more organized. I am trying not to focus on the things I don't like about myself and trying to make changes in my life that better me as a person. I am taking more time for my self (even if that means i get up and go to the gym at 5 am just to ensure i get there ...thanx Danielle for making it fun), and I am making myself do things that sometimes take me out of my comfort zone all in pursuit of better me as a person, mother, wife, friend ect.

I am trying everyday to find Joy in my Journey and sometimes I remind myself of that on an hourly basis, but I am finding that I am loving my life more and more and I am finding out things once again about myself that I never knew before. I know that as things change in my life there will be times I will need to remind myself that "I'm not Josie Grossie any more", but when that day comes I will adjust and embrace what needs to be embraced at that time.

So for know I will confidently say " I AM NOT JOSIE GROSSIE ANY MORE!"



Robert said...

Michelle, you're so awesome! Thanks for the great post. I feel the same way you do about high school and moving on afterwards. What a difference!

-Karen (Still) Ferguson

Michelle said...

thanks Karen

Anonymous said...

That's funny I was thinking the same thing about myself the other day. I really don't care what people think about me. However they can be polite! HUGS!

caryanne said...

What an awesome post! Loved it!